Q: The woman I am dating is very confusing. She will promise to do something and I believe she really means it, and then goes out and either does not do what she promised and/or does the opposite.

This is starting to drive me nuts, and I'm not sure what to do about it. Can you help?

A: One of the main principles that has helped me through all of these years of working with people is this:

"Does the person's behavior match their words?"

If the behavior of a person matches the words of the person, then there are grounds for trusting this person. If the behavior does not match the words, consistently over time, then those are strong grounds for not trusting someone.

If you are dating someone who consistently says one thing and then does another, this is a major red flag. Warning bells should be going off.

There is a word for consistently saying one thing and doing another.

It's called lying.

The key phrase here is "consistent over time." Most folks who say one thing, but do something else are also gifted at making excuses -- another reason not to trust them. If you do not and cannot trust someone, what do you really have, besides potential heartache?